You open the newspaper or your phone or your computer. What do you see? Misery. Sadness. Pain. Nope. Nope. Nope.
What do you want to see?
A duck running a marathon with adorable little shoes on? A sweet, simple boy winning a race twice as long as the one he entered? A reunited mother and son? A fat cat presumed dead found very much alive? Some footballers donating money to children in need?
Why. Didn’t. You. Say. So?
That’s literally this week’s Good News. Enjoy!
Duck fills his boots with NYC marathon delight
Our first stop is the Big Apple, where an adorable duck called Wrinkle was spotted running the New York marathon.
Donning a pair of custom made running trainers for his funny little webbed feet, Wrinkles set off with over 30,000 fellow runners in the 50th edition of the world famous race.
The footage of Wrinkles has gone viral, bringing huge attention to the duck’s sensationally named ‘Seducktive’ Instagram page. The page follows Wrinkle’s exploits in the city that never sleeps as he attends film premieres, local eateries and tries on a ridiculous selection of hats and costumes.
Despite some ludicrous claims online that Wrinkles ran all 42 miles of the race (the fact there’s only 26 miles in a marathon should have been a red flag), Wrinkles only ran a short portion of the race making him a loser in our eyes.
Only joking, Wrinkles.
Minnesota boy takes wrong turn and wins race twice as long
Inspired by Wrinkles’ ultimately doomed NYC marathon attempt*, a Minnesota boy has hit the headlines after winning a local 10k race despite only entering the 5k.
Kade Lovell, 9, took a wrong turn while running the 5k segment of the hilariously named St. Francis Franny Flyer, a charity racing event in Sartell, Minnesota.
When Kade failed to arrive at the 5k finish line, people began to panic, only to find out he had in fact finished and indeed won the 10k race after a volunteer directed him onto the longer route.
Kade finished the race nearly a minute faster than the runner up.
Upon finishing the race, Kade waded into an Instagram beef with Wrinkles the duck to gloat about his victory. Neither respond to requests for comment.**
*After calls with Wrinkle and the boy’s lawyers, we’ve been told to make clear this is in no way true.
**Same point as above. Literally complete nonsense.
Birmingham cat missing since 2011 returns home
Away from the politics of elite American sport, a cat named Big Ginge in Birmingham, England has returned to his owners after a decade away.
The cat’s owners, Colin and Eva, last saw him in 2011 on their narrowboat. Alarm bells were raised after the cat’s confusingly named mother, Weasel, and their brother, Diesel, returned home without Big Ginge.
After five days of searching, the cat was officially registered missing on his microchip.
Big Ginge, it turns out, had been living as a stray under the pseudonym, Marmalade. The name was given to him by Cats Protection, who monitor the area for stray cats.
Earlier this year, Marmalade luckily ventured into a local home where the resident took him to a vet after discovering a lump. Upon scanning the cat’s microchip, ‘Marmalade’s’ true identity was soon revealed.
In a double whammy of good news, the lump was found not to be serious and the cat formally known as Marmalade. A.K.A Big Ginge, was returned to Colin and Eva, who were thrilled to have him home.
Weasel and Diesel, however, were just relieved to have had their names cleared in association with Big Ginge’s disappearance.
Mum surprises son after two years covid separation
Under normal circumstances, your mother showing up uninvited to the pub while you and your partner have a drink would prompt a frank discussion about boundaries.
But this wasn’t the case this week in London, where actor and activist Ciaran Joyce was surprised by his mother after a two year covid enforced separation.
His mother, Hayley Gibbs, moved down under in 2019 and has been unable to return home to see her son since. After plotting with Ciaran’s girlfriend, Hayley snuck back into the country without her son’s knowledge and wandered into the local pub to surprise him.
Their tearful reunion was captured on camera and has since become a viral sensation.
Cheers to that.
Serbian national football team gives prize money to sick children
Finally, then, to Serbia where the national football team has given their one million euro qualifying bonus to the country’s sick children.
The Serbian President, Aleksandar Vucic, had promised the squad a one million euros bonus if they were able to qualify for the 2022 World Cup in Qatar. After sealing qualification with a 2-1 victory over Portugal last week, the sum quickly arrived in the bank account of the Serbian football association.
The team, however, unanimously decided it could be better spent elsewhere and have dedicated the money “to those who need it the most — sick children for their treatment.”
Браво, момци.*
*Translation: well done, lads.